Month: January 2009

  • Reality Check for krisinluck

    krisinluck

    The discomfort of the current time is that of an anticlimax, a plateau after crises and struggle.  You are ill at ease because of an awareness that you need to move on, but there’s no clear or easy way to go from here and you are not eager to get on with it, anyway.

    I am looking at an odd connection between physical/material and mental/emotional levels, mixing gains and losses.  It seems that you’ve let go of something, or experienced a loss, and it comes as a relief, a load off your mind, even though it was clearly a crisis.  The worst of that is past now.  It is a healing crisis.

    You said your reality has shifted.  The cards suggest that you finished a cycle of experience both emotional and spiritual.  You attained a peak and from up there things look a lot different. . .  feel different.  Disillusionment is a step in the right direction.  We don’t need illusions.  The un-learning you have been doing is where your current spiritual growth and creative development are coming from.

    It is uncomfortable being hung up between past and future when the past has a sticky hold on you and the future is scary-uncertain.  Optimism is a useful attitude to cultivate, especially when the future is scary-uncertain.  At least you won’t be mucking up the present with useless worry and anxiety.

    You have been keeping something to yourself, holding back on something that you know in your heart is right.  Letting in the light, coming out with it, is the next big step required of you (by you).  Don’t ever fall for the fearful fantasy that you can’t handle the changes.  Everyone does, always, one way or another.  Be mindful and put some effort into it, and you’ll handle it with style and grace.

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  • Reality Check & Answers for charmian1

    charmian1

    Reality Check:

    The best news from the reality check is that your financial crisis provides an open opportunity for spiritual growth.  This is a threshold you are reluctant to cross.  You would prefer to turn back from it and return to a more comfortable time, with material luxury over and above the necessities.  Your pain and distress are caused mainly by your unwillingness to accept the blessings available to you.

     
    Happiness lies not in getting what we want, but in wanting what we have.  Joy is a personal choice, independent of external influences.  Seeking outside yourself for happiness renders you emotionally needy and leaves you vulnerable to disappointment, betrayal, and sadness.   
     
    Although I would say you are “ripe” for the important developmental step into emotional and spiritual maturity, you are due to make it, yet you do not appear to be ready to do it.  I think you have an intuitive grasp of the reality, and you have certainly had enough of unhappiness in your emotional life.  You lack only the courage to transcend your fear, and the decision to move ahead toward higher and less materialistic goals.
     
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     Q&A:
    I wish to find a nice man now.
    (Refer to my answer to the similar question below.)
     
     
    (continuing education) Design or nursing?  Psychology?
    The choice is yours to make.  Achievements and rewards are possible in any of them.  You are likely to immediately find an affinity for psychology and helpful relationships with instructors and fellow students. 
     
    The initial portions of a study of either design or nursing would bring disillusionment and challenge, which you would need to overcome before you could progress in those fields. 
     
    In nursing, there is perhaps the greatest potential for reaping future benefits, but the road to that future would be the hardest and least certain.  The greatest uncertainty there would be your commitment to staying the course and overcoming the challenges. 
     
    Psych would bring you early rewards of knowledge you can apply to your own life circumstances, followed by trials and difficulties in completing the study and establishing yourself in professional life.  You would need a mentor, and need to be willing to make temporary sacrifices for your eventual success.
     
    A career in design offers the most flexibility, freedom and time to spend with your family.  The pleasure of creative work is the major reward.  I see no indication of any great economic potential there.  You have the talent, but you would find the pursuit of the necessary skills to be demanding, frustrating and painful.
     
    Your choice, as I see it, boils down to:  What is your ultimate goal?  What are you willing to do to attain it?  I also see that it would be possible, with some effort, to pursue all three fields.
     
    Is it of utmost importance for me to stay removed physically from my parents?
    Yes.
     
    Boyfriend. . .  Best to close a door on that relationship?
    I don’t have an answer for that.  The decision is for you (and him) to make.  Since you appear to be looking for another man, you might have already made that decision.
     
    Who can I go to for help?
    Specifically, neither of your parents would be an appropriate source for the kind of help you seek.  In general, I know of nobody from whom you might find that help, other than local charities and those “economic safety nets” available to all Americans in need.  Other than that, you are on your own now. 
     
    Should we move from this area?
    As I make clear in the disclaimers here, I don’t tell people what they “should” do.  You must make your own decisions.  There are difficulties and some dangers ahead if you stay where you are, but if you have economic problems there, moving will probably only make the immediate situation worse.  You will surely have an opportunity to move later, when there is less opposition, if that is your choice then.
     
    I would like to meet a good man to partner with.
    Yes, you have made that clear.  Before you can be a true partner to anyone, you need to be complete and sufficient unto yourself.  Please consult the FAQs, and read those on love, relationships, unconditional love, etc. — any that you think might be relevant to you.
     
    I would like to be free from my financial burdens/debt.  Please clear the air for me to see the options.
    Living within your means is essential, I would think.  Is bankruptcy an option for debt relief?  You have not made clear to me how serious your financial problems are.  I think if you were homeless, you would have mentioned that.  Are you facing the possibility of losing your home?  Does your family have enough to eat?  If not, do you qualify for Food Stamps?  Have you considered dumpster diving?  Greyfox and I do a lot of that, and have found some useful items that way.  Can your teenage children help by at least earning the money for any personal luxuries they want?  Are there currently expenditures for things you or the children can do yourselves, such as yard work or home maintenance, oil changes for your car, etc.?
    What do I need to do or facilitate for my son?
    Encourage his self-sufficiency and autonomy.  Offer guidance, rather than control.  Don’t keep your thoughts and feelings from him, and make it clear to him that you accept responsibility for yourself and your choices.  You are certainly a partner to him in determining the course of his life.  That much is inescapable, and any more would be unconscionable.  The best thing you can do to promote his spiritual development is to love him unconditionally.
     
    …for my daughter?
    See above.  There is truly no difference in what your children need from you, but each of them will receive what he or she needs in different ways:  by your example, by speech, by their observation or intuition. 
     
    I feel it is my time to do some things for myself, too.
    I agree, but I think you are probably placing the emphasis on, “myself,” in that sentence, and I would place it on, “do.”
     
    I would like a male partner and to discover more with myself in a relationship.
    I am not sure what you mean by, “to discover more with myself.”  Do you know what you are seeking there?
     
    More happiness and security.
    Happiness is a choice and security is an illusion.  If you can embrace disillusionment and live in reality, you will have more opportunities for survival and achievement.
     

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